BE AGGRESSIVE: Rather than sit passively and wait for someone to come to you, take an active part: ask questions, offer suggestions, do research. At this time finding your child should become your major profession and you will perform better at the task when you treat it as such.

RELY ON OTHERS: Ask for help from family and friends for help. You cannot do everything, be everywhere, nor speak with everyone. No doubt there are others who want to help you, but are at a loss as to what to do. They need you to specifically tell them. If it is difficult for you to ask for help from others, then hand them this manual and suggest they decide from these suggestions how they can best help you.

DESIGNATE A LEADER: Every activity, including the recovery of your child needs a leader. You are under extreme stress right now, so you need help in making decisions and making sure every stone is unturned. Ask a member of your family or a friend, someone who is good at delegating jobs and making decisions as well as organizing and working with people to be the organizer and spokesperson for you. Here’s a list of things they can do. Why not hand this manual to that person or persons.

NEWSPAPERS: Collect newspapers from the past several days and review them for any information that might help in finding the child. Look with an open mind because you don’t know what you are searching for

Examples: An article that mentions an excavation going on nearby. Has the site been searched for the child?

A utility advertisement that alerts you to construction in the area. Those employees should be questioned about any suspicious person or activity they might have seen.

Any entertainment group - from circus to opera - that has come into town. Was your child around any of them? Did any of them come to the school advertising their group?

Local or regional activities that might have brought in an influx of out-of-town people, i.e. school tournaments, county fairs. Could your child have met some of them?

NOTEBOOK: Give anyone willing to keep notes about the case a spiral notebook. This even includes the younger school children that can write, but only if they wish to be included. In addition to making them feel a part of the search, they may offer clues from what they write or draw, but are unwilling to say.

TELEPHONE NOTEBOOK: Attach a separate notebook to the telephone to record calls.

VOLUNTEER LIST: Fix a section in the back of your telephone notebook to list those who volunteer and place a tab on the first page for easy reference. Many people may call to volunteer their help, and although at the time of their call you may not have a specific assignment for them, chances are you might need them later own. Make four columns for each page and label them (1), name (2) telephone number (3) their preference for volunteer work. (4) e-mail address.

PHOTOGRAPH SEARCH: Although you have probably already given a picture of your child to the police, providing more pictures, especially candid shots will make the children more familiar for them. Family and friends are good resources for these

ACT AS A LIAISON: The family will most likely be deluged with friends and well-wishers. Consider how they wish to handle the telephone calls and people dropping by and perform accordingly. Some families need privacy to cope. If so, then have books for those who drop by to sign so the parents will have a record. Develop a section of the telephone notebook to record well-wishers if the parents are not able to speak with them.

RESCHEDULE APPOINTMENTS: Check with the parents about any upcoming appointments or meetings, i.e. dental appointments, dinner engagements, etc., and cancel those appointments for them.

COORDINATE MEALS FOR THE FAMILY. Keep a record in the telephone notebook of any food brought into the house.

If you will not be available at all times to put meals on the table, post meals that are in the freezer on the refrigerator ready to be heated.

Post on the refrigerator the location of drinks and paper goods for others. For example: canned drinks – pantry floor; sacks of ice – outside freezer.

STOCKING THE HOME. The house will no doubt have extra people utilizing it from relatives who stay to friends who come and go and therefore need plenty of staples.

The home will need extra toilet paper, paper towels, paper plates and cups. Assign a volunteer to stock all bathrooms and pantry with plenty of supplies.

Provide plenty of tissue and put it around the house for convenience. Place it in the bedrooms, the bath, the living area

Emotional stress can cause headaches. Have the headache medicine of choice on hand. The family may experience queasy stomachs for the stress, so encourage medication that won’t upset the stomach.

CARING FOR YOUNG CHILDREN. If the family has young children, find people available to be at the home day and night to assist in their care. Younger children need their hair combed, their shoes tied, diapers changed, lullabies at night. The parents are so distraught that even the smallest task is monumental right now. In addition, the uncertainty of the situation means the parents may need to leave the home at a moment’s notice. Even if the children are teenagers, they too need to have someone around them continually during this time. No one needs to be left alone.

Call the school and inform them of the child’s disappearance. Ask that the child’s teacher notify the family if they noticed any strange behavior in the child or suspicious people around the school.

If the family belongs to a church, call the priest or pastor and notify him.

Most likely the extended family has been contacted about the missing child, but if not, volunteer to make the calls. Also ask the family if they would like for you to call out-of-town friends or business associates.

INFORMATION: Saturating the area with information about the child is imperative. Assist the family with placing information about the missing child with the available websites and organizations on the Internet. Coordinate or find someone to coordinate the development of flyers and the dissemination of them.

A. Send an e-mail to everyone in the parents and/or the child’s computer address book that the child is missing. Ask for any strange e-mails they might have received from the child recently.

If possible, find someone to build a web page about the missing child. Assist with media contacts, interviews and discussions.

FLAG THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE. If the child is under the age of 11, according to House Bill 1516, which went into effect September 1, 1997, the child’s birth certificate must be flagged. While the law enforcement should have done this, repeat the process to be sure. A form must be submitted with the child’s full name, correct date of birth, city and state of birth, the mother’s maiden name and the father’s name. Request birth certificate flag forms by contacting the Texas Department of Public Safety Missing Persons Clearinghouse at 1-800-346-3243 or 512-424-3812. You can then fax completed forms to the Texas Department of Public Safety Missing Persons Clearinghouse at 5132-424-2885.

BE A LISTENER: Your friend or family member is hurting and emotions are frayed. Expect denial, disbelief, tears and outbursts of anger but understand that none of those are because of you. Your best role is that of a listener, one who allows them to vent their emotions without taking the venting personally,

Encourage the family to seek support from other sources, both spiritually and emotionally. At some point-in-time if the child has not been found, encourage the family to join a support group.

Encourage them to cry and comfort them when they do. Crying relieves tension and physical stress.

Encourage them to rely on you and to call you at any hour. Then broaden your shoulders so you can carry the load.